ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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