I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
