That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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