I'm lost and stupid without you.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Terrible idea I love it
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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