i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize