Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Congratulations! We have a period
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
