We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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