they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
