I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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