yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
