Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry peachez hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(662): View more from Mississippi

neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe

Fav 7 4723 850
share tweet
(616): View more from Michigan

So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???

Fav 22 1348 5267
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.

Fav 18 4717 1347
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.

Fav 1 1325 732
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area

Fav 3 1341 598
share tweet
(701): View more from North Dakota

I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on

Fav 2 1354 666
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?

Fav 5 1064 605
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(907): View more from Alaska

He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?

Fav 0 51 19
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(253): View more from Washington

Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?

Fav 0 64 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT