I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
