Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
