You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she looked like the before picture.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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