is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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