ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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