i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
