White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
