I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
