tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize