Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
