Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
