so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
how does that bad decision feel?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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