I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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