he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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