I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
