she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize