It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize