Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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