You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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