I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
