Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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