She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
