No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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