We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
