i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
