if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
