I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
