you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
