Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Someone shattered a urinal.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
