She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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