never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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