so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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