before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
