seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
