he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
