I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You ruined the universe
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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