Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
