its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
