So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
God gave him joint rollers for hands
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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