So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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