jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
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