I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
another moral hangover. fuck.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
