How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
