Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
