So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
