I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
