So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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