went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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