"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
