We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
